Tuesday 27 March 2012

Consett Cat Fight

Consett Cat Fight
Had another of those completely mad weeks at work, which included a Benefit Tribunal (nasty establishment trying to make a bloke who could hardly, walk, or even breathe sign on as unemployed):

and yet another grave and weighty criminal assault trial, featuring a Consett staple:- paralytic mother and daughter fighting. This was a sort of down market version of Geordie Shore (can you get any more down market then Geordie Shore? I hear you ask). Absolutely

You know the everyday situation where your kitten dies, and you are so overwhelmed by grief that you have to drink about a gallon of vodka, call your daughter for support at 1.30am, drink about another gallon of vodka with her and then at 2am knock up a neighbour, go around to his and consume probably another gallon of the Russian tipple, fall on the floor and are so drunk that the neighbour cannot move you and calls 999.

Somewhere along the line one of them says the wrong thing and it all kicks off in a thoroughly unedifying spectacle. Despite the fact that mother was unconscious and entirely incapable when the police arrive to assist the beleaguered neighbour and she then goes on to tell two entirely different versions of the incident to the police and the emergency telephone operator when she reports the incident almost 18 hours later; and a further three versions whilst in the witness box, one under examination in chief, one whilst she's clarifying the case for the Judge (sour faced) Harrison and finally a completely different version under my cross.

I escape with a victory before lunch and time for a quick dip the first of the week. I've lost the will to live by this point so escape after a mere 30 lengths.

600 warm up as 66 swim 33 drill
4 x 100 @ 1.45

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